Colonic Irrigation for Windsurfers

A typical example of the e-newsletter

  • Windsurfing Dinner
  • Colonic Irrigation for Windsurfers
  • Wave Course - Full and Ready to Rock and Roll
  • Cheap Wave Board
  • Stuff the End


Yes - it's on again. A great night's craic at our speed challenge sponsor Pier 36. The genial Lewis will be handing out great food and drink while I and on the other hand will be handing out genecidal 'entertainment'. So if you're not there you won't know what we've said about you - except that it's probably slanderous.

7:30, Pier 36, 12th November and cost is £20 a head which can't be bad - even if the company is.

And to be clear, all windsurfers are welcome. We're raising money for new kit for NSC so the more people who come, the more kit we get. So don't worry if you're not a member, just come along and bring the wife/girlfriend/dog as appropriate.

Tickets from Paddy (panty) Lyner on 07803908714.


And while we're talking about charity cases, a big thanks for the many of you who supported Chris Loughrough in the Walk With the Emperor. A big load of money was raised for Marie Curie, probably aided by the fact it was a windless day. And Kathy would like to thank all of those who sent cheques to her addressed to Mrs Minger - she said she'd thank you personally....



There are some people who'll do anything to improve their windsurfing. We've heard of a lot of tricks tried including Mr Yeates roping a board to the ceiling of his garage to practice (aerial) gybes - but trying out colonic irrigation is a new one even to us.

Gary Pope was the culprit. Enjoying a great day at NSC, when no doubt he should have been at work, he noticed the tide going out but was having too good a blast to worry. That is until he went for a high speed gybe on the inside and realised his skeg was in imminent danger. So he jumped off, at speed, and carefully tucked up his legs so as not to break anything as he hit the bottom. Problem was that he entered the water at speed bottom first and as well as that lovely cleaning out feeling he actually grounded his bottom hard on, well, the bottom. So he left a really good skid mark on the shore, did untold damage to his wetsuit and so far was we know hasn't been able to do numbers 2s for a week.

It remains to be seen whether all this pain has in fact improved his windsurfing...


Russell goes for a gybe 1


Moments Later it's all Going Wrong


The End is Near ...


I've had reports of various people on the water in the last couple of weeks. Andy and Wookie headed for Donegal where they stayed at Yeates Palace and did un-told things in his hot tub. The 3 of them went up there on a forecast which never quite materialised. So they had a good sail at Magheroarty but not the big waves they'd travelled for. The next day, with beautifully smelling skin from the hot tub, the big stuff did appear. It was huge and Andy and Wookie tried to sail out but couldn't. After a couple of waves they'd see a huge muncher coming and chicken gybe back in. Nothing chicken about doing this of course, but frustrating not to be able to get past.

There was a good session Saturday 2 weeks ago at NSC which started on around 7m and then just built and built - totally unforecast of course. With the Pier 36 Speed Challenge in full swing, quite a few people were going for it. I managed a very modest 26 knots but the Emperor Ming exceeded 30 although he didn't improve on his amazing 35 knots score - that's 40 mph to you and me! As the wind got up, sails got smaller and there were 5s on the water as we all ended up exhausted. A big crowd out too from both NSC and the car park.

Last Saturday produced some very good easterlies. It was forecast to be around 20 knots, but mid morning it was nowhere near this. Millisle looked like a Tetley's convention with heaps of kiters out and a couple of forlorn windsurfers playing in some small waves (at high tide) but not planing. Down at Cloghy the car park was filling up and the wind was filling in. The day started with Paddy, Gary and Paula on around 7m and planing well on a very high tide. There was a slight scare when the police arrived (we did tell them Andy wasn't with us), but it turned out to be a couple of on-duty windsurfers - just 'checking their patch'.


From beginner to Cloghy


I was worried that I'd miss my 110ltr FSW which was with the excellent Ross for a nose job and sure enough hanging onto 7.5m on 120 soon became a nightmare. Fortunately for me the wind continued to rise so dropping down to 6.3m on my 90 FSW was perfect. Others changed and soon it was a mixture of 5-6m and a lot of happy faces in the warm sun. I wouldn't quite say it got crowded but there were a healthy number of sails out. Others included Russell, David, Matt and a father and son pairing. Andy joined in late and also had a good sail.


Knackered at Cloghy


Paddy's been continuing the good work at NSC with more courses for beginners being run and indeed an improvers course this weekend. It's great to see some of these sailors progressing and indeed joining us at Cloghy - some of them are getting far too good far too quickly and will have to be cut down to size. Where's the Wookie when you need him?


Paddy's beginners


Paddy's Beginners on the Course


A little while ago I missed an epic northerly day at Ballyturd. Not one of the illiterate local windsurfers could write a report, but fortunately UK exile Thomas - son of Bin Laden - could do better:


I was back for the weekend and went to Bally-turd bay for Sunday afternoon.  There was a massive crowd, sunny weather and 25mph+ - it was excellent craic!  I initially went out on 5m, 95l slalom board as was constrained/sharing kit with Dad.  It was neither easy nor entirely pleasant sailing to begin with.  In fact I think I was probably doing my bit to help bally-turd maintain it's name.  It was very fast and a bit scary in what must have been 27+ mph steady!  But Dad tired quite quickly owing to the difficult conditions and his on-going recovery so I stole his kit, and boy-oh-boy I had a fantastic sail.  1.5hours without a rest, 4.5m Ezzy wave, 85l RRD wave, it was awesome.  You'll be pleased to know I was ripping through gybes - strap-to-strap planing out on a 85l wave board!  And some fantastic ramps at the far 'sailing club' end of the bay, heading port tack back towards the car park.  I was somewhat of a pussy cat at times but gained confidence quickly with some really pleasing sailing.  Needless to say, the fact I've windsurfed about 4 times since this time last year when we came back from Egypt doesn't help.  And all the occasions since Xmas have been in 6m+ weather so not quite the same. Having had that day though, if I was to have the same conditions tomorrow I would definitely stick on the helmet and go for those loops!  Easy to say with hindsight, not so easy to do put into practice when bearing down on a big jump!

Suffice to say it was a great day and just a pity I couldn't have stayed for longer on the water - short weekend back, got to see all the family and all that!


In fact Thomas was so inspired he went off to Dahab for a few weeks and no doubt his gybes are now beyond beautiful. Sickening really..



If anyone else was thinking of joining us with Ant Baker next week for the annual Donegal wave clinic, forget it - you're too late. We've had to close entries as we're full.

It's only 3 days, but it's going to be great. Hopefully I'll write it up along with some great pictures. And to top it all, if the forecast is good Dave White is going to join us for some NI abuse and to write up our part of the world. So fame await...



I got this from Aaron Hewitt <This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.>


Selling off some of my (unused lately by me!) windsurfing kit. Noticed in newsletter that a wave clinic is planned. I have a battle scarred but usable JP Wave 90l with bag and fin for £75 - the price of a fin these days! Might be of interest to new wave sailors or folk who want to try new stuff and don't what to wreck their £1000 board!

Also would sell a Mistal Custom Flow 284 for similair money (speed board anyone) and would give away and old 90l Bic Slalom boad that needs a fin. I may px for a FSW if anyone has any battered boards spare something 105lish and wanted a hairy chested full on wave baord!

Fed up storing this stuff and not using it, been out twice in the last 2 years so may as well go to someone who might use it!

So if you're interested - contact Aaron.




You're receiving this because you registered on the site, you can stop at any time, just follow the links.

You can also register your mates, just fill in their e-mail address and the system will e-mail them and check if they're happy to receive my meanderings. Why not share the pain with them?

And we're always looking for reports, ideally with photographs, so if you want to share the craic with or dish the dirt on your mates - just drop us a line!

These newsletters are about the people who windsurf - anywhere in Ireland. But a lot of the action takes place at Newtownards Sailing Club - probably the largest windsurfing club in Ireland. For lessons, great beginner kit, to join or just to sail there as a guest and try it out, see the website.