Donegal Waves

Tall Ships - Fast Exit

Kit Needed

Pier 36 GPS Challenge

The Usual Stuff at the End





The electorate have spoken and the Donegal Wave Clinic is on - now all you have to do is get your money to me quickly so you get your place!

Thanks to your votes, the way forward is very clear and in fact we now know we have enough people to make this work.

So the deal is that we 'll have the excellent Jim Collis coaching with us in 2 days Wed/Thurs 14th and 15th.

So what you do now is to pay for for 2 days tuition with me and book yourself  2 nights hotel at the Loch Altan. Most of you intend to do this and then take a last minute decision based on the weather forecasts (oh - you fools, you'll be misled as ever) and then book for further days before or after as suits.

A few hardy regulars intend to just spend the week up there. So some of us will be at the Loch Altan all week, which makes it very easy for the rest of you to come up on a forecast. The hotel is flexible, you just won't be guaranteed a room for the extra days. However Donegal in October, you've a good chance.

The costs are £80 for tuition (2 full days) and the hotel is  E40 per night B+B - to get this rate just mention Andy Tease when booking (and be prepared for a torrent of abuse when you do).

So if you want to come, get £80 to me preferably electronically. This is non-refundable of course. First 10 people to get their money in go on the course. If you need my bank details just ask anyone in Nigeria, they always seem interested in them. Otherwise e-mail me.

See you in Donegal WC 12th October!


Well, were you one of the 400,000 who visited the tall ships? Did you bathe your feet in the mudbath which was the Foreign Market? I hope so, I know I was. But you may also have read that there was much disappointment at the fact that instead of gently sailing out of Belfast on the Sunday, they apparently took off like scalded cats. Why was it that they couldn't get away from us fast enough? The press were baffled (not that this takes much doing), but now we, the windsurfing community, can reveal the real reasons. And part of it is down to good old Agent Orange. I'll let the kaleidoscopically challenged ginger minger take up the story :


Hi Lord

Just to let all you gay boys know what a fantastic day you missed sailing around the tall ships on Sunday, no shortage of wind in Belfast Lough and more importantly no feckin weed either! Can't believe only myself and Ian from Ballyholme Yacht Club had the pleasure of such a spectacular days sailing amongst these majestic beauties (maybe with the exception of Tony Shipman) and he sure didn’t prick me !! Anyway, hang around another 18 years and you might get the chance!  Not a tu*rd in sight apart from in my wetsuit when I ventured a little to close to Sagre.

By the way option 3 old bean.

Regards Fanta (brown) Pants

Nigel aka Fantapants ducks at Pras


Put on your dark glasses and regards Mr Pants doing a great duck at Prasonisi.


So it turns out that the real reason they scarpered so fast is that they were being pursued a red-headed windsurfer. Well, who can blame them?

Actually they had another reason to be very scared - John Bedford. Actually John is a very good reason for anyone to be scared - not least A+E at most of our local hospitals. John was regaling me recently with his list of injuries (fortunately without opening his wetsuit to show me) all gained from mucking about on toy bikes, or mountain bikes as he calls them. It turns out that our number one Kamikaze windsurfer was also out on the water chasing the tall ships. John claims he rocketed out on 6m on 100 ltrs and fairly flew around the ships. It was bedlam out there with lots of small ships, people with brass buttons and of course total scum-bags in speed boats. Add John at 30 knots to this mix and no wonder the Tall Ships couldn't get away fast enough.

John also claims  that once they'd escaped he headed back to Cultra and gave a 1 man demonstration of power windsufing and fast gybes. 'It was the biggest audience I've ever had for windsurfing'. So much did he impress them that he got a standing ovation from the crowd when he came in. Presumably this was before the men with the straight jackets came to take him home.


In case you hadn't noticed there's been a lot of wind recently. Great isn't it! I know Mr Wookie and Lorraine headed up to Donegal to share a little love together. I can't speak about the love, but I can tell you they had 2 great sessions at Magheroarty. Colin especially had put aside his love of milk (as enjoyed by young cats) and put in some really good down the line sailing. There was a good crowd out including both Mullen brothers, so there was much expertise on show.

Raptor Table Top 1 Kearney Raptor table top 2 Kearney

Raptor demonstrates an excellent table top at Kearney. Don't you just hate him ....


And last weekend provided more excellent sailing. Sunday saw a nice crowd at the club including Tesco Tim, Paula and the very late Ali Todd. NZ Tim was down at 8am and scored a great speed in the Pier 36 Challenge - see below. However a lot of people figured that a straight southerly F6 would be best at Kearney - and they were right despite a very high tide. Raptor was on 4m and doing piles of very irritating things on waves including piles of clew first moves and stuff mere mortals can't understand or follow. He did complain to me that his forwards were rubbish especially on starboard tack - well, I'd have to say that that applies to most of us really.... Wookie was in a mood to show off so he brought the Wookette and various parents, aunts and other miscellaneous relatives down to show off to. I've got to hand it to them as they sat in the car for a good 2 hours watching the mayhem. Mind you, the finale of the Ashes as also on which may have helped. Andy was firing on all cylinders on 5.8 although he later moved down to 5.2. He gave me a very scary moment. I'd crashed a gybe on the outside when it suddenly got very dark, I thought there was a thunder storm coming in. It turned out to be an Andy eclipse and he was at full speed and clearly out of control having lost 1 hand totally off the boom in his gybe. And he was headed straight for my head. Fortunately for me (and this column) he managed to carve a little and flew past me making a loud noise (as was I - in my case 'dive, dive'). As I've mentioned there were some very good people on the water. Big Robert, John Adrain, Hern Dog and Raptor were really showing off  - big jumps, smooth gybes, duck gybes and even some back loops. All scary stuff in big winds and at times some very big ramps. Also out, but not quite in this category were Lorraine, Pat and myself.  We had our moments of course but we also had some good rinsings - none more so than me. When you get caught on the shore with closely spaced waves, a murderous rip and a high tide giving you nowhere to go it can be very stressful. Or in my case highly amusing for the happy on-lookers!

Wookie catches the odd wave at Kearney.

Wookie on the waves Kearney


Considering the conditions, there was very little damage. Wookie broke a boom, but we don't know if it was while sailing or over someone's head.

We still don't know why he's called Big Robert, but it could be the size of his jumps...


Big Robert Keaney jump Big Robert Kearney

Below a tale of 2 Johns - not of the toilet variety. Left is Adrain looking relaxd in a gybe. On the right is Glover about to get some serious air, both at Kearney.


John Adrain Kearney John Glover jumps Kearney

One other piece of news for you. Many of you will remember Marilyn Todd - not least because we don't have that many attractive blonde windsurfers called Marilyn. I bumped into her pushing a buggy containing the latest new recruit into the windsurfing family - Erica. Too early to say if she's a blonde bombshell, but we'll see..


And an update from another regular windsurfer - Peter Campbell. We'll not see him on the water for a bit -

I've fractured a rib. No not windsurfing, I fell while on holiday in Portugal. The next day I then went windsurfing, lets just say that wasn't a smart idea! The harness was perfectly placed to dig into my sore rib, so by the end of that short session I realised it was something a bit more than a bruise.

It is pretty hard, especially after a weekend in Downings where it was blowing a steady force 6, sometimes gusting 7, both Saturday and Sunday!! Still reading isn't such a bad pass time.........doh!


I'm sure we are all full of sympathy - at least we will be once we've stopped laughing...

And now to bring you right up to date, this bank holiday weekend promised much and delivered very little. The forecasts seems to say north was windiest and so Wookie, Lorraine and I drove to Benone - scattering Black Men in our wake as their parades threatened to come between us and some nice waves. Benone was lovely and Wookie was in a good mood as this time he didn't get his van stuck in the sand. Others had the same idea as Finn and Timo Mullen appeared along with Big Robert. The Mullens went out and showed the rest of us up in very light wind conditions but some nice waves. Robert preferred to stay dry and talk vans to anyone who'd listen while Wookie, Colin and I tried to sail as far away from the Mullens as possible in order not to be shown up. In my case this wasn't difficult as in such light winds going down wind seemed to be my fate. We did actually have a good sail in the waves, helped by some very good facilities up there including a nice cafe and (we found out too late) public showers! We'll be back.

Mullen Benone

And finally a word for our Harold aka Boner aka Tony. He hit a milestone birthday recently, but is a new man with the help of large pieces of metal in his leg and the installation of a gym in his house which he is using to great effect. Look out folks, the man with a penchant for needles is back and he means business!


Isn't it great to see a new windsurfer who's really keen. Enter Dave Mijnders -


Hi Alan, Thanks for the mention in August's newsletter. The truth is, i not only had some decent wind for a couple of hours, i nearly got the big board planning on the 4m. My arms, as usual hurt like hell, but i whoop whooped, screaming and shouting across the water much to Dave's amusement for nearly four hours. Having a cracking time learning and i have now moved into the big shed at the club as i sold my van and only have my bike for getting about.
I have all the gear i need to use my own rig and board except for a mast. I was wondering if you could ask around or post on club website for a 430 mast. Cheap and cheerful, i don't care how old it is. This will get me on the water with my own gear. I already have the speed bug so watch the last space in the speed challenge..

In fact Dave has all of 1 board and 1 rig (almost) and clearly very critically - he doesn't have a harness yet. He'll learn soon enough that he needs one of these. But in the meantime if you have an old 430 mast kicking around, Dave would like to give you some money for it. So come on all of you who've moved up to posh skinny masts, unload your old thick ones.

Just let Dave know on This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it.



There's some competition around. Ming the Merciless is still in the lead, but NZ Tim has now joined and immediately posted 32.8 knots. Not bad for a first go! So Ming look out, they're snapping at your titanium heels.

Still time for the rest of you - pay your £15 and knock the Minging Monster from his perch.

And with a bunch of us just about to go off to Egypt with a GPS in our baggage, if I were Ming I'd be very worried.