Strictly Donegal

Superman comes down

• Strictly Donegal

• Windsurfing - End of Term Dinner and Abuse

• Pilates and Man-kini Time

• The Usual Plug

Strictly Donegal

Andy Bottom Turn

The odd old fart, a lovely blonde, some very dodgy gear and some amazing footwork. It could be Strictly Come Dancing - but it was of course Strictly Donegal.

Lord at Magheroarty

For years we've run a wave sailing course in October and for years we've had lousy wind. Now we've changed to a windsurf improvement and wave course in September - and we got fabulous wind and waves. And if you're reading this on the e-mail, stop now and go and look at the website to get the photographs. With Danielle as a professional photographer as well as one half of our coaching team the visuals are nothing short of excellent.

The course actually ran from Tuesday to Sunday with around 10 people on it. I say around, as we had a few people who came up for only 2 or 3 days at various times so the numbers varied. Oh and we had a visitation from 8 female students as well.There were some of the usual faces, some new and of course some people coming up for improvement rather than for waves - and we had conditions and coaching for all of them.

Stimulating simulation

Talking of coaching, we were really sorry that the Electric Bunny that is Jim Collis wasn't able to be with us this year, but he made a great recommendation in Phil Richards and Danielle Lucas - 2 for the price of 1 as it were. They're both excellent coaches and very much in Jim's gentle, effective and supporting style. And of course with 2 of them we were easily able to split the coaching between waveheads and flat water improvers when we needed. We already knew these guys as the Hobbits from El - Tur (you'd have to see Phil's feet to understand the reference), but despite our usual abusive name calling they were great. And Danielle is a professional photographer so the picture are top notch and the feedback video too. If you'd like to hear their version of the story, just go to http://www.getwindsurfing.com/news/

So what did we get? Well many of us arrived down on the Monday before the course for a bit of warm up. Winds at Magheroarty were really light and so slalom kit was broken out - prophetic words in my case when a 9.4m Tushy bit the dust even in the tiny shorebreak. Still the sun was shining and we got some blasting in before we retired for Guinness in the Loch Altan.

Magheroarty

The next 3 days were spent at Magheroarty, mostly on great waves but also some tuning up sessions on Ballyness Bay - the tidal flat bit behind the main beach. Tuesday and Wednesday were 5-5.5m sails for most people although various lightweights used 4.5m or so. At one stage we counted 30 sails on the beach, so clearly it wasn't crowded. Waves were good, which means relatively few problems going out and every now and then a set of 3 monsters would come in and eat someone. Nicely spaced and cross off winds.

Fanta Pants waves

Fanta Pants waves

Lord of the waves

Lighter winds on Thursday saw a mass emigration to the reef break and some more challenging conditions. There's a lovely video of me being knocked off by one waves and then crunched by the next 2 - great delight at the video showing in the bar that night. I was probably only under for 15 seconds but it seemed like talking to Paddy - like it went on forever. I was so relieved to breathe again and then to find Ming had sailed in and grabbed my kit for me before it met with the harbour wall. We exchanged manly hugs afterwards - at least that's my story anyway...

Dooeys or the Moon?

Ming launches

Friday was Dooeys, with Wookie showing all the newbies our video of the shark fins circling round Ming during one of our last trips there. What a nice chap he was to share this with them just before we all went out to the exact same spot. However the conditions were so good that no-one had time to worry about being eaten. 5-5.5m in good waves and loads of sunshine. Perfect.

Rush Hour at Dooeys

On Saturday the wind lightened, I dropped down to my 6.9m wave sail on 110 FSW, but this was more than compensated for by the arrival of the Dublin troops - 8 student girl windsurfers led by Bebo. I saw a great deal of sucking in of stomachs while getting into wetsuits - and that was only by the boys.

We were chucked out of the Loch Altan for Saturday night because of a huge wedding, although that didn't stop a number of the boys gate crashing the wedding later on. Most of us headed to Ming's Palace at Downings where rooms for 8 was no problem. We noticed there was 1 less cow in the field, but were rewarded by excellent steaks cooked by the Wookie. Nice meat and not a hair in the steaks! I'd have to say that was one of the best video feedback sessions we've had, very relaxed and lots of drink. Problem is I can't remember much about it - possibly the grappa wasn't such a good idea Ming?

We finished up on Sunday with a blast at Downings. A nice wind down before heading back to reality and finally an end to the aches and pains after 7 days intensive windsurfing (and Guinness).

Well so much for what we got, but more importantly what about the people and who made a total prat of themselves I hear you ask? Well first of all we didn't have any serious injuries, at least not to people. But instead we did have the 3 plumbers. They were Minty (David Minton), Paul Reid and Barry Whitelaw who turned up always in a convoy of 3 white vans. We expected to see pipes, lagging and valves inside but instead there was a big pile of gear. It needed to be a big pile as every year there's one bloke who seems to kill kit and this year it mast mangling Minty. He warmed up by trashing his 6m at the reef - and I do mean trashing as he came back with 2 separate sails or at least pieces of sails. His fellow plumbers thought it was good of him to do this near the exit of the reef break and proceeded to gybe round him a few times. But after 30 minutes in the water we began to realise that perhaps even that was wearing thin. We were about to launch Ming the Merciless on a Sup to tow him in when it dawned on us that crafty Minty had a plan. This was to lie in the water until he'd drifted right across Magheroarty Bay (45 minutes) and then cunningly be pulled into the area of the largest waves where he'd be totally pounded - just in case he hadn't done enough damage to his kit, before crawling ashore. And you have to hand it to him, he executed his plan perfectly.

Minty tried for a repeat at Dooeys again in the waves. All week he'd been practising his jump off the kit and fly manoeuvre - fine if you're in the middle of an arial move, but not so clever if you've just mucked up a turn or a gybe in the impact zone. Rule 1 of wavesailing is always to hang onto (and save) your kit. Determined to prove what a good rule this is, he repeatedly sprang off his kit and sure enough eventually his mast stuck in the ground and broke in two. The second part of his plan, to wallow in the water while waves broke over his head for 20 minutes was ruined by Mr Wookie who took off the from the top of the sand dune like a hirsute Pamela Anderson and ran bobbling down into the waves to help him out. Now if only Wookie had been wearing a red bikini - that would have sorted the sharks out.

Actually we  think Wookie has mellowed as he was often very helpful to people. Frankly that's more scary than his usual self. So it was that at Dooeys he met me in the impact zone and suggested I follow him out so he could guide me onto a good wave (or into the mouth of some sharks he'd spotted). We were 2 waves from the outside when a real monster welled up. He tried to gybe on it, lost it, got totalled and lost his kit. I went for the vertical climb, somehow got over it and had to leave him to a nice swim. That's what happens if you try to be nice to people.

Apart from Minty's efforts we damaged 1 sail, quite a few batons and 2 carbon extensions. All in all, bit of a cheap outing.

The other 2 plumbers sailed well. Paul especially had great speed on the water, so great indeed he managed to outrun all of the waves. And indeed Minty sailed very well (when he stayed with kit), especially after the coaching sorted out a few issues about boom height.

These trips are organised by Andy, Wookie and me - so normally 2 of these 3 don't expect to learn much new stuff. But not this year. Of course Andy and Wookie sailed really well on the waves, but some fine tuning from the video feedback made a noticeable difference. No-one is so good they can't learn.

Wookie as usual grabbed great waves and shredded and smacked (the waves, not the other punters) a lot. Andy on the 1 lighter day took out a Sup with a sail on it and no foot straps and had a technically excellent sail on the reef. I heard someone say he must have thighs like iron, but didn't want to ask how they knew. We had some annoying competition from paddle surfers at the reef on  the Saturday. Now we don't mind sharing waves but it appears these guys are something very low down the food chain and want all waves and are prepared to hit others who disagree. Ming got bashed by a paddle and they annoyed Mr Wookie enough to get a good roaring from him. Given the amount of Guinness and Indian food he's consumed the night before, it's a wonder his foul breath alone didn't kill them stone dead on the spot.

The real star of course was Cormac O'Brien. Apart from sailing brilliantly the whole time he had 2 standout moments. Firstly when we was seen riding quite large waves at Magheroarty front to sail! And then secondly going for an ariel, totally losing it but hanging on like some demented Superman as he crashed to earth, well into the sea. Oh and we got it all on video and multishot photographs.

The end of Superman

There was much speculation when Shipman said he'd up for a few days with his Vito. We thought he'd finally come out and was bringing a young Italian boy with him. But it turned out his Vito was a big fat German. Van. So nicely fitted out in fact that he was getting envious glances from the 3 plumbers.

The merciless one was on the water at all times. Ming it seemed was glued to his 7m and 110 FSW. Well to be fair he did sail smaller kit a bit, but where others waited to see if the wind would come up, he just rigged and got out there. We got really sick of watching him in the video feedbacks because he was always in about the first 10 clips and generally riding waves very well. His most memorable video moment was a new move best described as bottom turn into ariel into face plant. He now has an Ezzy with an imprint of his face - could be rather hard to sell that one on the second hand market...

Paul Wilson came and joined us for 2 days of improving. He got a lot of 1:1 coaching on Ballyness and improved a lot. It turned out he was on holiday with his family in Donegal that week and somehow managed to get a 2 day pass. His wife is clearly a saint - or has him very well insured.

Gary Pope was another short timer, coming up for the last 3 days. Gary had never wave sailed before but launched bravely in and - well, he wave sailed! Tell it not in Newtownards (but do tell Paddy just to annoy him), Gary did really well and even managed to (mostly) avoid the temptation to take his slalom kit out. We did see him on the X-Fire at Magheroarty one day, but then he had to spend the rest of the day trying to repair batons. Slalom sails and waves don't mix.

Another big improver, or do I mean another improver not in the lightweight division, was Nigel aka Fanta Pants. He was doing his bit for the red hair brigade for 4 days and sailed very well.

It's funny, you get no Donegal courses all year and then 2 come along at once. Peter Hart had a course running on the same week so we saw a lot of them. Funny thing was that we were always on the beach well before them but they were always in the bar well before us.  It was nice to chat to another group and even to watch some of their videos in the bar before we went off for ours. I should explain to anyone who hasn't been on these courses how they work. They start with a huge breakfast until Wookie makes the call about where to sail. This means breakfast tables are a mass of bacon, coffee and laptops as everyone checks every forecast. When we get back, typically around 5pm there is a tradition known as the Salty Pint. This means you have a pint (or more) before you have a shower. The locals are very tolerant or maybe they're used to the smells of the sea. Dinner is often in the hotel but we also went out for pizza and indian. All great. Then it's video feedback with Phil and Danielle pointing out our good and bad bits while a ribald audience of well oiled windsurfers make great fun of the bad bits. A tough skin is essential.

So that's the end of another Donegal windsurfing week. Clearly the most successful and enjoyable we've ever run. Already we are talking about running it again at the same September time. And next year it will again be very much for a mixture of improvers and wave people.

So what are our abiding memories of this great week?

• Danielle being sent out by her partner as the course wind dummy
• If there's waves and any wind there's a Minger on the water
• Cormac's backside sailing (at least I think that's what the guys said)
• Phil rigging up simulators and teaching us to dance on the board
• The plumbers convention
• Bent front arms
• Minty's superb ariels (without the kit)
• Cormac's superb ariel (hanging on upside down to the kit)
• Andy saling the Arc Royal with thighs of steel
• Danielle looking foundered (after Egypt) and yet always hoping for the sun to come out

Put the dates in your diary for next year!

Windsurfing End of Term Dinner and Abuse

This year it is safe to go to the Pier 36 end of year windsurfing bash. Because I'm not doing the entertainment!

Details are not firm yet, but the important thing is the date, Friday 4th November in Donaghadee. It will be a meal with a photographic review of the windsurfing year plus the little matter of the annual prizes. Will anyone beat Ming? And also will anyone go faster than him in the GPS challenge?

It's a fun night with partners, so put it in your diary and contact Pat Lyner and tell him you want to go.

Pilates and Man-kini Time

How often have you creaked off the water and thought it's time I got fit? And how little have you done about it?

Well Paddy has arranged the answer for you. Pilates - and a course of 6 evening sessions specifically aimed at windsurfers. So brush off your mankini and get in touch with Paddy. They will run every Wednesday from 2nd November in the evening.

And no, I won't be publishing photographs....

The Usual Plug

You're receiving this because you registered on the www.mylyst.com / www.windsurfcraic.co.uk site, you can stop at any time, just follow the links.

You can also register your mates, just fill in their e-mail address and the system will e-mail them and check if they're happy to receive my meanderings. Why not share the pain with them?

And we're always looking for reports, ideally with photographs, so if you want to share the craic with or dish the dirt on your mates - just drop us a line!