It's Windsurfing Jim - But Not as we Know it
It's 2025 and AI is everywhere. So, naturally I took this huge energy and investment consuming resource and put it to good use. I asked it what if Star Trek had included windsurfing.
Not bad I thought, clearly AI doesn't really understand the fundamentals of windsurfing (rather like your author I hear you say), but nice to see that it included a tandem. I've always had a soft spot for a bit of tandem - no, this isn't a euphemism. And I do like the handy hole in Captain Kirk's sail - something we've all had from time to time....
However, as we all know, windsurfing is being superseded by winging, so I asked for this too. Turned out AI is not a winger and I had to educate it - through the medium of much swearing and threats - before I got this:
The tandem is still there which is nice, but I have to assume the little bar they are all holding is some 22nd century improvement to winging that we haven't seen yet.
Incidentally, of all the articles I've written over the years the one about Doubling up with Miss Norway (actually about a tandem) got the most hits of all. Says something about my dodgy audience I think.
Now what is the point of this ramble - I hear those of you who've made it this far say? Well the point is this is the last article I'm going to publish on windsurfing and the like. Pauses to listen for the cries of anguish, but none are forthcoming ... And the reason is sort of due to winging and foiling generally.
When I bought my first board (a large white plank) things were very different. There was only windsurfing. And no mobile phones, Facebook, Whatsapp and indeed very few digital cameras - and texting cost money. So, with less communication, everyone met up. And they did this mostly at Newtownards, so you knew pretty much where to go if the wind was blowing. It was very normal to see 20 or more sails up at Ards, everyone knew each other and the craic aka the abuse was big and a large part of the fun. There were some other pockets of windsurfing. The inbreds at Lough Neagh were ploughing the blue green waters as a group, Big Robert and others sailed from Antrim Boat Club and there were of course gatherings at various east coast venues at times. Even Ballyturd was still known as Ballyholme.
Everyone windsurfed and the kit was very different. When you started, your ambition was to move to a 'short board' ie under 400 in length. Teardrop was the shape and there was a lot less carbon about. To get out in light winds, a lot of people sailed above 7m sails, personally I went up to 9.4m, but some people went larger. Ming, who never does anything in moderation went up to 12m and, to be fair, could get his Formula board going in around force 3 - although 3 uphauls and you were dead.
There was even an abortive attempt at foils - there were a number over about 20 years before they really caught on. Raptor saw an early picture of a prototype back in the day and persuaded his father to make one based on the photograph. The result looked rather like an iron anchor and generally acted like one as we never saw Raptor get it up....
Then, as now, there were a lot of 'characters' sailing. To be fair, quite a few are still on the water in some form today, but we rather miss Tesco Tim (who preferred shopping to sailing), Guy (who wore an anchor chain medallion), Casper (who materialised mysteriously like a ghost) and Richard, the dodgy fireman. In those days Wookie had hair (on his head) and still bit people's heads off, Robbie Bin Laden hadn't been knobbled by the USA and Andy always seemed to be giving (windsurfing) lessons exclusively to young women.
In 2002 we ran our first away trip which was Gran Canaria and these windsurfing trips grew and peaked in El Medano and Rhodes with around 15 bodies. We also started the Donegal wave courses which in a slightly different form run to this day.
The first genuine attack on windsurfing came from kiting. To be honest when it first appeared, none of us saw it as a real threat - and so it proved. Fun for some, but not the real deal compared to windsurfing.
Even when wind foiling appeared, it seemed like a nice extension of windsurfing. But winging was the game changer. Although I've chosen not to do it, I do think it's a great sport and a great way onto the water. Much smaller kit, much less of it needed, and the ability for those who have to work for a living to get out in their spare time almost no matter what the wind is doing. It's clearly the way to go.
However it has changed the pattern of who goes out where. It's very rare for large crowds to sail together, especially as wingers and windsurfers often seek different conditions. And one of the unintended consequences of this is that the craic is now in much smaller groups. So the entire purpose of this site was largely gone.
I did write up some of the set pieces like Downings, but even here various forms of foiling have destroyed the fun for people like me who enjoyed battling it out at the back of the fleet with other speed (and skill) limited sailors. In light winds, one puff and the foils are away and the back of the field then struggle to even make the next start line while the foilers hang around.
I don't regret any of this. It's been 30 years of fun, with great friends and I still sail. It's just that there is no need to write about it any more - hence this swan song.
And hence my Mr Spock rip off title - it's windsurfing Jim, but not as we know it.
So I intend to finish up with some rambling (no change there says you) on my favourite bits over the years. I am also going to archive this site. I will leave it up for a while, until the hosting charges annoy me enough, but the archive is available for anyone who wants to keep a copy for themselves. Just contact me directly or through the site (if you can answer the captcha windsurfing questions) and I'll give you a copy.
Also, if you want any of your favourite photos over the years, I may have higher definition versions on my hard drive. Again just ask.
And so, to my ramblings. Well, more of a personal trawl through my archives to see personal favourites and people.
I bought my first board in the early 90s and this is the earliest picture I could find of me at that time. 1994 learning to tack (still work in progress) at Rhodes on a family holiday. The kit of that time doesn't age well - unlike my good self of course...
By 1997 I'd progressed a little, but the kit hadn't. This is Mallorca.
As I've said, the centre of windsurfing gravity in the early days was Newtownards Sailing Club. We did some moves and got grants for modern learners' kit and a number of people became windsurfing instructors - including Wookie who must have frightened the kids, well he frightened us. Somehow Andy always managed to wangle it (imagine Andy wangling anything) that he looked after any young ladies who wished to learn. No doubt part of some cunning plan. But here's some proof.
She looks like she's had enough.
In fact in the next photograph it looks like she's run off. But actually I think she's under that splash of water.
The club was (and is) a good place to sail, however it could be a nuisance sharing it with the brass button brigade.
Still, a nice evocative shot of the slipway area.
It could get pretty windy of course, as we certainly saw here in late 2025, but on one day back in the noughties, only 1 person dared go out. The shot, evocative of a Perfect Storm, was so good that Boards Magazine wanted to use it as a front cover shot. Unfortunately we didn't have enough pixels so it didn't work out. But still a great picture of Andy heading out to what looked like certain doom.
He did come back ....
In later years, digital photograph improved, David got a drone and we have a lot more pictures. This is still a favourite, taken at the club by David and it does look like Wookie is jumping over the boat. Looks like the sort of thing he would do of course.
In the early days the rigging area could get pretty busy, indeed we windsurfers had a row with the sailors who tried to reduce the size of our rigging area.
Sadly, there are a number of windsurfers who are no longer with us. Colin Kelly on the right above is one and the wise old sage Ronnie is another. Taken on a race day at the club.
Another we lost was Tony, known to many as Dr No Ticket amongst many sparkling nick names (due to losing his return tickets from Gran Canaria). Here he is in the midst of what one might suspect is a failed gybe at Newtownards. Still, a nice straight front arm and the weight well forward.
His most famous disaster actually occurred at Tarifa when he and Wookie met at speed on the water. Naturally Wookie came out on top.
I came across this little gem, Raptor I think, in his pre-Irish Wave Champion days.
I'm sure there is a technical name for this move, but it looks sore to me.
You do meet some strange characters at the club and here is Alan Yeates' homage to the Scream.
And another memorable one was when Ali Tourettes Todd got hit and Tony bandaged him prior to A+E with duct tape.
Imagine meeting that in the toilets. Still, it doesn't matter, he's only a lawyer....
Now, before we leave the club, let's go inside for some music. It's not well known that I used to be a nightclub DJ back in the days of wind up 78s. I kept my 2000 vynyl singles and occasionally was dragged out of retirement to provide the Saturday night entertainment when the IWA came to Newtownards for an event.
So this is the last professional outing of DJ AJ, being molested by Paddy's wife. And of course when I did a set of heavy metal classics, our own heavies came out to play on the dance floor.
I think this bit of headbanging was AC DC - I mean the group, not a reference to those banging to it.
This is the nearest Mr Wookie ever go to looking cool at the club - or anywhere for that matter.
And in a freak foretaste of his foiling days at Newtownards, Paddy almost manages it without the foil.
Right, let's leave the club and join us on our travels. One of the early road trips we did was to Achill Island. We took a house in Westport and rocked up with all the gear on our cars on a Friday night. Shortly after there was knock on the door and a bunch of girls were there saying, 'we are on a hen night, we saw the gear on the car and wondered if there any men in the house' - one of the best opening lines I've ever heard. We of course we replied yes - I will leave it to you to decide if that was true or not. As to what went on, my lips are sealed. However below is evidence of me and the bride to be 'dancing' at the party.
The windsurfing was quite good too.
One other notable event from that trip was Andy getting his van stuck in a sand dune.
As ever in Ireland, there was a local farmer with a tractor to save the day.
Now let's go north. Donegal has featured a lot in our windsurfing, often at Magheroarty.
The arrival of drones allowed this lovely shot of this world class location.
And sometimes you have to lift your eyes up from the water to take in just how beautiful it is there.
Here's Wookie cracking a great wave.
Even I can look good sometimes...
Wookie again.
But it can of course go all wrong as Alan Yeates still shivers when he remembers this one. He is somewhere in that wave.
I now have a handy 20 cm mast extension. However it was 45 cm until this photograph was taken, side on, SUP and sail, Magheroarty.
We didn't always get good wind in Donegal, especially for the Hobbit wave courses. However in 2013 we really did. The scores on the door were 2 people in A&E (but 1 was a lawyer so he didn't count) and 3 cars wrecked! The above was Cormac coming down from yet another huge jump. It was so windy that even I left the water below me on occasion, but not like this!
Nice somersault!
And here's one of the 3 cars. It took 2 tractors to pull it out and after that the doors wouldn't shut, expensive.
As I mentioned, it can get windy. This is Dooeys, but actually it looks more like the Moon in this shot.
It can also rain. How many times have we enjoyed this type of sight.
On a sunny windy day it can be magic.
It is clearly a great location, however at the end of the day it's all about the people.
Here's a fairly typical line up of suspects at Donegal wave course. Yes, the police have been provided with a copy for their records.
And talking of suspect -
We've seen some pretty dodgy budgie smugglers in our time, most of which were being 'modelled' by Ming when the wind was light.
However once SUPs became a thing, we had a light wind alternative (before winging of course).
I have something of a reputation on SUPs. Firstly I'm known for getting onto the biggest waves of the day. But I'm also known for not yielding for anyone once I'm on. If only the camera had caught the look of pure horror on the face of the Supper heading out as I charged in. I missed him, but only because he dived off in terror.
As I've said, it doesn't always go well in Donegal, but you can always be sure that someone (like me) is on hand to record your misery.
This was one of Nigel Fanta Pants' longest walks of shame at Rosapenna.
Sometimes it's not the conditions which get you, just your own stupidity. Isn't that right Jarlath?
If you don't get it, look again.
And talking of Rosapenna, the small car park can get a bit busy when the wind blows in the all the Nordies.
Actually, it can get a bit crowded at Coll's Car too.
Slightly less crowded in 2020 during Covid, but still we windsurfed. And drank.
OK, time to look further afield now and yes, we have travelled a bit.
One of the biggest trips was Pras in Rhodes in 2006.
This is the guilty party at the airport. God, don't we look young.....
Pras was busy as you can see.
I'm not sure what the locals made of us, not that we cared.....
We had fun on the water too - although you wouldn't want to mess with this guy.
Or this guy. Robbie Bin Laden before the Yanks got him.
In terms of numbers our first El Medano trip was the biggest.
We had lawyers and apes.
We also had some strange fireman.
And some strange under water creatures. Even under water Paddy is still talking.
In terms of photograph, the El Tur trip was the best. It was here that we first met the Hobbits and Danielle took some great shots, as she later did on the Donegal courses.
She even made my gybes look good!
The outdoor bar was nice although this shot is tinged with sadness as 2 of the 3 people are no longer with us.
It was very hard work windsurfing all day, every day and with bare feet on hot sand. So Tony ran a morning clinic to patch up the wounded and Pat acted as his nurse. It was all a bit frought but it worked. And Paddy seemed to smile a lot, we think he likes to play doctors and nurses....
The hairiest moment (apart from Wookie in the shower) was the day we went to the wave beach on the other side of the peninsula. This involved piling 2 boards and sails for each of us onto 'taxis' - actually open flat bed trucks. We then balanced on top of the pile for a far too fast drive on narrow tracks to the beach. It was worth it for the conditions and then somehow we sailed back without losing anyone.
Now to even further afield. For many years our family holidayed in Aruba and we had some fabulous times.
I made reference earlier to Miss Norway. Siri, was not in fact ever Miss Norway although I'm sure she could have been if she'd entered. In fact she was a ski instructor and windsurfer who ended up for a while in Aruba, despite the lack of snow. She taught me everything I needed to know, sadly only about tandem windsurfing. Here she is before we hit the water.
'That's a big one' she said, referring to the 70 cm fin.
And here we are flying along on the tandem. If you haven't tried it, I'd strongly recommend it. There is even a video of me carve gybing this beast, links on the main website.
As I've said, we went to Aruba for many years. It was in 2004 we walked up to watch the Aruba High Winds event where the Queen of the Huts was awarded to this 13 year old girl. It was astonishing to see the prize for the top lady to go to someone so young. Astonishing that is until you know (with hindsight) she was Sarah-Quita Offringa, now 28 times world champion.
Well, back to local now. And today, the 'scene' is rather different and much more spread out. But there are still a few gems to highlight.
I've shown various photographs of Mr Wookie looking angry/fierce/ugly (delete at appropriate). But how about this as his attempt to look seductive?
Well, maybe more moody than seductive?
And the climate is slightly cooler than Aruba. Being real men of course, we go out in any weather. So here's the scene outside Wookie's house in 2013.
And yes, we did sail that day....
I now sail a lot with the Pond Life Crew ie those who have been born and in-bred around the lovely blue green waters of Lough Neagh. This is them taking in a different type of water at the Four Trees.
They know how to enjoy themselves and even turn up with a portable BBQ for a sail in the summer.
One of the main sailing locations is known to us as Busted Marina, due to the number of old car parts you have to negotiate in the shallows. Its real name is Derrymore.
As you can see, Foxes are a popular board in these parts.
As is winging, although not always with perfect results.
At least Ciaran can fall in without losing all his kit and involving the RNLI. Whereas Minger has to provide a crate of beer for Bangor RNLI everytime he gets rescued. From what I can gather they must be permanently drunk at Bangor he's donated that often.
Here is his kit waiting to be released by them on payment of a crate.
But to be fair, I too have my odd crash.
And this should have been a crash but wasn't - a new definition of step gybe perhaps? A hop gybe...
I've concentrated on the bits I've been in or near. However there is of course a thriving East Coast scene where the good sailors go to get serious wind and waves. The outright star is of course Raptor.
He only went and won the 2022 Irish Wave Sailing title - and third in the pro fleet too! Not bad work.
So, that's it. 30 years of memories laid down for the internet. I hope to make many more, I just won't be putting them up on line.
See you on the water, or more likely in my case in the water. And I leave you with a nice picture from Morocco.
